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” I said sarcastically, taking the criticism on the chin.“You know what I mean.” she just waved me away. “I want things to be good between you and your mother. I don’t know how I can help.”“Right now, let’s just not … push things. Let’s stay around here, be accessible and approachable for further conversation. And let’s make coffee.”I got up to turn the kettle on and perform that little bit of chemistry, where I would mix coffee powder with sugar powder. The moment when the two mixed made me feel like I was performing a science experiment.But as I got back to the couch, Sveta was already asleep. This created a dilemma. On the one hand, waking up to smell of fresh coffee is one of life’s treats. It’s like God was sitting one day, thinking “Their lives look miserable. How can I up their standard of life to keep them from revolting? Hmm. Oh, I know, coffee in the morning.”But on the other hand, she looked so sweet, snoozing there on the couch.As my heart couldn’t bear the thought of. “What you having Johnno?” Sandra asked.“Anal?” I suggested.“To drink not later you filthy bastard!” Sandra retorted and Boris flashed me a black look, she must have thought she had pulled.“Rats piss,” I said.“You can have one Stella ‘cause I know what your like after a few pints eh Mr Floppy!” Sandra laughed.“All fucking right, it was only once.” I stammered as me face went bright red, “Ever ready me.”“Fuck anything anything any time?” John Hunt the bookie from Matson street walked out the bog and started taunting me. Hunt the Cunt as we called him.“Long as its over 18, and has a cunt and a pulse,” I protested.“Like a cow?” he laughed.“Technically they has a vestibule not a cunt,” I said using my superior intellect gained from watching pointless fucking game shows and similar crap on pointless fucking daytime TV.“Her then,” he said pointing at Boris.“Fuck off she’s a fucking Lesso.” I said supportively.“Fifty quid says you can’t.” He suggested.“Fifty quid each?” Boris asked.“Two.
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