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So all of a sudden I was at even more of a disadvantage.We went into the kitchen and I poured us both a glass of iced tea. There was a long, nervous silence and then I asked her to tell me about herself. She had handed me her resume when she came in. But I preferred hearing it from her.She told me that her name is Helen Rivers. She's a widow. Her husband, an Army Sergeant, was killed in Iraq. Her only child, a daughter, is in her freshman year at an out of state university.She recently sold their house and is about to move into a small apartment. She never worked outside of the house a day in her life until her husband went to Iraq. She never finished high school so her employment opportunities are limited. She is, however, a perfectionist when it comes to housecleaning. It's what she can do and she does it very well.She has worked for a cleaning service for a couple of years and the money isn't bad. But the job isn't satisfying and she doesn't like the fact that she can't count on. She figured I would hold on until I let go and then we would be over. My rubbing continued and she accepted, my rub was suddenly stronger, firmer, but so pleasant and she began to realise why I didn't want it to end, this was our beginning foreplay, at least it had been. She knew I would never touch her intimately again, so she was petrified to attempt anything. My left arm ran down her right side, and goose bumps formed all over her body. Up my hand ran again, and down to the edge of her pants. I repeated the same swift movement on both sides now, while moving up and under her shirt and she was determining my attentiveness had to be my form of comfort; my goodbye. I rubbed so long, I could feel her desire rising and she needed to let go or I knew she would try and touch me. She was terrified of rejection. She was letting go emotionally; why couldn't she do so physically? She used her fingers to trace imaginary lines on my skin. She wanted to whisper something, anything, she wanted.
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