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I’m fine. I’m fine!’ He began to laugh even harder now, clutching his stomach in convulsions. ‘I’m fucking fine!’ he screamed this time, rushing for the door. ‘Dylan?’ Phillip yelled. ‘Where are you going?’ ‘Anywhere I fucking want to!’ Dylan called back from the door. ‘So fuck you, fuck this place, fuck everybody!’ He laughed shrilly. ‘I FUCKING QUIT!’ Dylan raced back to his office, loosening his tie and unbuttoning the top four buttons. He rushed over to his desk, taking what few possessions he had and placing them in his briefcase. He began to mutter to himself while he cleaned out his drawers and got so loud at one point that Janice poked her head in. ‘Sir?’ She asked timidly. ‘Janice!’ He shouted joyfully, seemingly noticing her for the first time. ‘Janice, my dear, I quit!’ Smiling goofily he did a little jig and began to sing an old Jimmy Buffet song. ‘Sir, are you okay? Do you want me to call someone?’ Janice had real fear in her voice since this was the first time she had. The voice replied You have chosen 1 woman. If this is correct hit 1 if not press 0. Please press now. Okay I'll press 1. To become a blonde press123456789987654321, to become a brunette press 2 to have black hair press 3, to be a redhead press 4, to have an exotic hair color press 5, to be bald press 6. What was that number for blonde? Oh well forget it. I'd rather be a redhead anyway. You have pressed 4 redhead. If that is correct press 1 if not press 0. Okay. If you want to be 5'5 or shorter press 1, if you want to be 5'6 to 5'11 press 2 if you want to be 6 foot or taller press 3. Okay I think I'll press 2. You have hit 2 this means you want to be between 5'6 and 5'11. If this is correct yada yada yada. He knew the drill by now. The operator gave him the usual warnings and gave him the final chance to back off. He hit one and braced for the change. *BOOM* it was like a shockwave hitting him. He was stunned by the sheer power of the change. His breath became ragged as.
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