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I know some nasty stuff about you that makes the crap you're writing about me look like baby shit."He made a good point; I agreed to tone down my remarks.Sheila phoned the room twice, once to see if we had everything we needed and again to ask if we were getting dressed. It was only three P M, but I told her we would get ready to go.My tux had felt all right the day before when I tried it on. But now, the only thing I was wearing that fit was my shoes, which were the ones I'd brought with me.It was four-fifty when I dropped Charlie off at a side door to the church. Guests were already arriving and I had trouble finding a parking place. As soon as I got inside the church, I heard organ music playing. Someone took my coat, and pointed to a closet where I could find it after the ceremony. I was directed through a series of doors, and eventually found myself standing next to Charlie at the front of the church.Everyone turned to see the bride make her entrance. Debra was wearing a white. .. afraid of me, disdainful of me? Why did she have to keep thinking there was something special in me? Why did she have to make me feel like I was worth something? It only made it harder when I realised I wasn't – when I did stupid shit like this. I kicked at an empty can on the sidewalk, sending it skittering over the pavement.I shoved my hands deep in the pockets of my hoodie, my body aching. Why couldn't I just be normal? Why couldn't I stop doing these things? These things that hurt Carly, and hurt me. Why did I have to push everyone away?I stop, realising I'm outside my building. I head up wearily, trudging up the flights of stairs. I pause when I reach my door. I always have to psyche myself up before I go in, because every time I enter, something bad happens. And I'm so tired of all this bullshit. I just wanna go to sleep and forget.I open the door, slipping inside. Mom's passed out on the couch, empty bottles surrounding her. The smell of beer hits me and I feel my bruised.
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