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"Reluctantly I complied."I've been there," she said. "Take my word for it. I was going crazy for you for only a few days; they've been suffering for nearly a fortnight. I can't begin to imagine what that would be like. They must be almost demented. And if you've told them they're going to have you today, then when they get here you tell them they can't, I don't know what will happen. It would be inhumanly cruel. You can't do it, darling."She looked up at me imploringly. Her eyes, despite the tears that were starting to form, had a strange new intensity about them and they glinted in a way that was almost metallic, as if cobalt had reinvented itself as a shade of green instead of blue. It struck me that despite all I had been through with Fran I had never properly looked at her eyes until this moment. And as I stared at her it seemed to me that she alone really understood what had happened and how I felt. The realisation swept over me that she had achieved after all what she set out to. At the end Abigail insisted on coming home to "our land". She wanted nothing more of hospitals. The Hospice nurse came every day. A wonderful woman named Alice.Ellen and Dan came out from Indiana and spent the final month. I wondered what I would have done without them those final weeks. Dan left right after the funeral, because of harvest but Ellen stayed on. They had become surrogate parents to us both and Amelia called them, "Grandma" and "Grandpa". They loved Abigail and Amelia and never brought up the fact I should reconcile with my parents, even though I knew they were in contact, forwarding photos and keeping them up to date with emails.One night Abigail asked me to take her outside to see the stars. She woke me about two from a light sleep. I slept on the sofa near the hospital bed we had set up in the living room near the fireplace. Each night we went to sleep holding hands. She was in too much pain for me to sleep on the bed with her. We longed to just hold each other.
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