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When Jan died, I felt very sorry for you and Chris. I pray that someday you will remarry so Chris will have a mother. I even pray you would be able to have biological children with a second wife. I know how much you and Jan anguished over not having your own.’ He smiled at her, and nodded slightly. ‘I know you do.’ Sharon looked away, but Sam noticed the shimmer in her eyes. There was another stretch of silence. ‘I’m 45 years old, Sharon. I may never be able to look at a mother holding her baby without a twinge of regret, but I’m beyond the desire to father a child. I just don’t have the energy, anymore. Chris is my son. I’m more than satisfied.’ Tears trickled down her cheeks. ‘You’re lucky to have such a wonderful boy.’ ‘Lucky?’ he thought. ‘I haven’t felt lucky for a long time.’ Sam reached out and, with the back of his finger, lifted a tear from her right cheek. ‘How long has it been since you’ve felt lucky?’ Sharon blurted a sound that was half laugh, half sob. ‘Oh, I hate. Nick was right. No question about it, this was different. He had known that for awhile now, although he had tried to ignore it. Too bad he hadn't known it from the very beginning he would have not answered her requests to begin with and saved himself this unwanted introspection. So, what to do now. What he should do is finish this session. Put her in the manacles hanging from the ceiling and apply the chain she was so intrigued by, the very instrument that had brought her into his world. It could be wielded brutally. He was pretty sure that would have her tearing out of here deciding she had experienced all she ever wanted to of this lifestyle. He grinned to himself, she would probably have his ass in jail. Wouldn't that make great headlines, Prominent local blah blah blah. No, not her, she would shoulder the responsibility for her own actions, she would never allow blame to fall anywhere else. It was an amazing trait at the same time it left him feeling somehow not needed,.
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