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" Our gatecrashing friends looked at each other then at us and Dave said "Shit, Phil, only you could hit on a pair of dykes."The two of them walked off muttering and laughing to themselves. No doubt it would soon be all around the pub that there was a couple of lesbos in tonight. I suddenly felt less tranquil. Lena grinned at me through a slightly lopsided smile, she was on her way to being pissed, and I didn't relish the thought of having to carry her back. "That told 'em didn't it. I know their sort, a few drinks, then try to get you out the back for a quick shag up against the beer crates, pathetic." The scene she'd just described sounded fine to me, but hopefully it would have been a long shag rather than a quick one.She drained her vodka and slurred, "We don't need them do we honey, we're OK as we are. I'll get the next lot." She started to get up but sat back down again as she lost her balance, giggling. I scolded her across the table, "Lena you're pissed, you're not having any. To her arse), but she smiled broadly as she strolled over, threw her arms wide and hugged and kissed me as soon as she got close enough. “Roger!!!!!” she squealed, “Where have you been hiding? I thought you’d have rung me?” I didn’t think we’d swapped phone numbers, but apparently we had?“Did we swap numbers then?” I looked puzzled.“Yes! Don’t you remember?” I didn’t at all. Then she told me that, after I’d almost carried blonde Tracey down from the bathroom, Melissa and I had been chatting on the sofa, playing lightly with each other and then swapped phone numbers. I checked my phone straightaway and she was RIGHT! There was her number – Melissa (Debbie Boss) – in my contacts! I COULD HAVE BEEN FUCKING HER ALL THIS TIME!!!!!! Oh BOLLOCKS!I apologised for not calling her. She said it was perfectly alright, she’d been very busy with work and this was the first weekend she’d been free in over a month and that’s why they were at Bluewater having some retail therapy.So.... we all decided.
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