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Do not blink. Don’t even agree. Just play dead.Yes officer, I didn’t see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you!This group is compliments of Alan B.Still more hand-picked lousy humor...Why is a woman like a condom? Because both spend more time in your wallet than on your penis.My girlfriend’s dad asked me what I do. Apparently “Your daughter” wasn’t the right answer.What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.The teacher asked Jimmy, “Why is your cat at school today, Jimmy” Jimmy replied, crying, “Because I heard my dad tell my mom ‘I’m going to eat that pussy when Jimmy goes to school today’”“Babe, is it in?” “Yeah” Does it hurt?” “Yes” “Let me put it in slowly” “It still hurts” “Okay, let’s try another shoe size.”I asked a Chinese girl for her phone number, She said “Sex sex sex! Free sex tonight.” I said, “Wow” Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629”A husband came home with a half gallon of ice cream. He asked. Johnathon, my husband, has been steadily working his way up the ladder at the financial management company, and is now in the running for a promotion to Vice President. A few weeks ago we received an invitation to a company dinner party, for the companies top executives. This would be my first opportunity to meet the company President Mr. Mc Farland, and I wanted to make a good impression. Under Mr. Mc Farland, the company had grown by leaps and bounds in the past year, he is apparently an excellent leader, and Jonathon always speaks very highly of him. It seemed like he really knew how to get things done. Since this was to be a formal dinner dance, I went shopping for something appropriate. I figured turning a little charm on for Mr. McFarland would only help Jonathon's chances. After much shopping I selected a strapless evening gown, that was rather low in the front. I planned to wear it with a strapless bra that really put my 38 DD's out there, if you know what I mean. I'm only 5.
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