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. she was a drug to me. A fascination that I just couldn't shake. My heart beat with her words and, quite possibly for the first time in my young life, I looked beyond the physical, looked beyond her outer appearance, and gazed at a person's soul. I realized how vapid and empty my relationships had been until then; her voice, the way she spoke, it reeked of substance and I was hopelessly hooked.I pursued her and I caught her. Oh, she didn't want anything to do with me at first. She thought I was leading her on for some nefarious purpose ... and I was, but not for the nefarious purpose she imagined. I felt a hole opening in me and I needed her to fill it.It took me 5 months to break her resolve and we dated, exclusively, for the rest of that year and the next. I took punishment for it, catcalls within my clique, laughter behind my back. I was called names – chubby chaser, fat lover, others that I don't need to repeat – and I just looked at them, angry, upset. Sometimes, I fought.. We work our way through the salad and main course. He seems impressed by ability to eat more than a French fry. “It’s sexy,” he tells me. “Bullshit.” “No, seriously,” he laughs. “It means that you’re human. Reachable.” “Explain,” I murmur , taking another bite of my shrimp-and-spaghetti. The flavors explode upon my tongue! He takes a sip of wine before he replies, “When you first walked into the room, I thought you were more of a goddess than a woman.” Okay, seriously? No man has ever spoken like that. Unless he was from Middle Earth or something. My critical side comes out to play. But instead of voicing the fact that what he just said is three steps shy of bullshit; I just become a blushing moron. Dessert time rolls around. I’ve been watching him carefully through this dinner, trying to figure out.
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