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Maybe ... I was acting like a little kid, you know? Wanting to break a toy because he can't have it." I'm not a toy," I said softly."I know that," he said into my eyes. "I never thought you were." I know." I blinked at him, at the sincerity there."But that's how I felt," Seth looked down and shook his head. "I know you love your husband..." he looked up suddenly and caught my eyes once more. "I just wish I knew how that feels." To love my husband?" I joked weakly, stirring my coffee and wondering if I really wanted to hear this or not."No." You don't even know me," I said, lifting my cup. "Maybe everything is my fault." Some of it maybe," Seth shrugged. "But not all of it, Amber. I know that much."I sipped my coffee, trying to digest what Seth had told me. He was a different man, or no ... He was the same man, but in a different light and he was seeing me differently as well, I thought. He was telling me how he felt, as much as he could without hurting us, and that seemed more than. I told him I would let him know once I could make arrangements to come and visit him. I had to coordinate my trip with one of my husband’s business trips and although my husband knew that I was flying out of town to meet with someone, I didn’t tell him who it was at the time.Not trusting myself alone with Dan once again, I made arrangements with a friend of ours to fly down with me. He is the husband of my very close friend and they enjoy the same sort of lifestyle as us so if knew what the situation was going to be once we got to Florida.As a matter of fact, he mentioned that he would bring two video cameras’ down with us so he could record everything. The only thing I didn’t mention to him was the fact that the black man I was going to meet was still in love with me and I really didn’t want him to bring his cameras but I didn’t want to tell him the whole situation.We had everything all set for the trip and my husband wished me luck and to be very careful before he left that morning.
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