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WH AudenIn hotel rooms I worry. I can’t be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked. Jonathan KatzIf life were fair Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead. Johnny CarsonI don’t believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we’re very skeptical. Arthur C ClarkeHollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap. Steve MartinHome cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. Jimmy DuranteAmerica is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. Doug HamwellThe first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone. George RobertsIf God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport Jonathan WintersI have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. Robert Benchley“My wife divorced me because of illness. She got sick of me.” AnonymousCompliments of AnonymousTwo tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods.A smaller tree. “Do you think we have time for another round before breakfast?”Before he could answer, the door open, and his mother entered, carrying a tray full of food. Her eyes widened slightly at the sight of the two nude teenagers, but she smiled and made a show of shutting them.“I’m not looking,” she said with a laugh. “I know how you kids get. Guide me through the mess, will you?”Monica - or whoever - chuckled, and gave Brad’s mother directions through their clothes, which lay scattered throughout the room. Soon, she was at the bed, handing over two plates of bacon, eggs, toast and hash browns.“So nice to see you again, Maddy,” she said as she closed the door. “You’re welcome over any time.”“Your mother never remembers my name,” the cheerleader said with a grin. “How many girls do you bring home in a week?”After they ate, the two got dressed and Brad’s mother gave them a lift into school.“I’m sorry about Caitlin,” she said in a whisper as they piled into the car. Brad looked to see what she.
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