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What, I dunno. Conscious?" But that's..." I said. "Brandon, what's the line between me and her? What celestial coin toss or dice roll or roulette wheel or whatever made me conscious and her not? What if the situations were reversed? What if... I were just as spaced-out as she is, and she was totally conscious? Would people be—"His hand slipped around mine. "But you're not, Meredith. You're conscious and alive and beautiful and—" What if there was an accident," I said, my voice bitter. "What if something were to happen. A... A car crash. Or maybe I just trip on a shoelace. Now I'm brain-dead, now I'm a vegetable." I looked at him. "Would people treat me like they treat her?"His face showed a cascade of emotions: confusion, love, doubt, sympathy, empathy. His hand tightened on mine. Finally he said: "Not if I have anything to do with it."Somehow it wasn't reassuring. But somehow I knew there was no better answer either.Because it was Thursday, the school was selling slices of local. Maybe just at Halloween," I laughed as I hastily downed the can ofridiculously weak lager Martin had laid on and thanked god that I wasn'tthe only person at the party who was crossdressing. Unless, of course,the schoolgirl at the back of the living room moonlighted as a grizzlybear..."You, um, didn't see any other costumes you liked?" Martin asked, makingme groan internally as my suspicions about him were confirmed."Nope," I said. Well, I thought to myself, not apart from a French maid,a playboy bunny, an air stewardess, a latex catsuit..."Well either way," Martin said, "you look SERIOUSLY cute tonight." I'm not the only one," I giggled as I played with my long brown hair."Many people coming tonight?" Probably eight, tops," Martin sighed. "No point in advertising a gayparty to the meatheads at the school." 'Meat' isn't the word I'd have put in front of 'head'," I say, earninga giggle from the sexy young man."They probably think we're having some kind of gay orgy here orsomething,".
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