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She barely knew the man and she allowed him to own her body and make her feel the way she did. Why did she present herself so freely? Why did she act so cheaply? Why did her curiosity almost cost her sacred chaste? How could she have been so stupid? If there was any consolation in the matter, it was that she did not shed a single tear then. She gathered her belongings, straightened her hair, and walked out of the stable with her chin held high. But she did not have to pretend today, she cannot. She was only human. Yes, even Lady Dominique De Bourgh needed to cry. Tears still covered her face even when she was finally able to get into her bath. Romilda added some lavender to her usual jasmine oils to help her relax. In short yet controlled sobs, Dominique was able to confide everything to her governess. She told her about the conversation with Kellan, her short-lived tryst with the Captain, and her hesitations about telling her sister these revelations. The old lady, who was seated. HEDONISTIC GIRLWe seek ourselves in metaphors,Never knowing who or what we areUntil we learn who and what we are not,And, bereft of the opposite sex,I wonder as I wander, seeking, on my quest,A mirror to mirror my true soul,A fountain of the deep that is deeper yetThan the soul I keep, a looking-glassThat does not look upon a topsy-turvyWorld of white rabbits and caterpillars,But it is too much, I think, to ask,And I simplify, hearing, smelling, tasting,Touching, blind to the rest of me,Insensible to revelation, sightless to epiphany,My only metaphor the perceptionOf sensations that defines the hedonistic girl.SCREAMINGFire streams along the nervesSo hot it freezes me,And I become erect,Gathering myselfInto my nipples and my cock,Intensely aware of my breasts,Of my manhood,And of the extreme unctionOf the fused dichotomyOf my forbidden sexuality;I confess, tears hot upon my face,Pleading, praying, to be seenAs much as forgiven,And God sends fire through me,So hot it freezes meAnd I.
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