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The house was large and impressive from the outside, Elsie had inherited it from her father after his death. There was not enough money to be earned in the short holiday season to provide a good living and keep the house kept as well as it should be, so it became more shabby year on year. This hurt Elsie but Bert wasn’t worried as the house was in her name anyway, and she did the cooking and the bookings, his function was more that of a porter and general handyman, but it suited him. It was April 1988, just another morning in the Harding establishment and they were on their second cup of morning tea when the phone rang.“Helloo,” Elsie said in her falsely posh accent, Bert sat and heard another booking being made. “And how old is your daughter?” there was a pause. “She is eighteen, so you will need two rooms then?” another pause “I have a nice room on the first floor overlooking the sea and another at the end of the hallway, but it hasn’t got a sea view,” another pause. “No sorry I. And since Chris was born in Los Palos, I, as her spouse, would not needa passport or visa. So it seemed that Los Palos would be perfect.A month before the wedding, Chris made another announcement: The customof her people, it seemed, said that It was bad luck for the bride andgroom to see each other before the wedding. This had evolved into afirm tradition of avoiding sexual relations --even among couples whowere used to being quite intimate--for a full month prior to thewedding. So sex with my fianc?e was now forbidden until after shebecame my bride.I thought initially that it was a smallish thing to ask, and I was morethan happy to oblige if it meant that my beloved would feel better. Butas the days of that month turned into weeks, I felt myself gettingdistinctly tee'd off by the whole thing.Chris and I met each morning, and spent most of the day together,frequently in the company of her transvestite twin brother. We would goto theaters, concerts, or simply shopping. We made.
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