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"One more wish left for you", said the fairy, waving her wand."I want to be Canadian with Canadian clothes instead of rags, and a baseball cap instead of this shawl and I want to have white skin like the Canadians."PING! - The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans from Best for Less, a dirty Wall-Mart T-shirt and a greasy baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon."What happened to my new teeth?" he wailed. "Where is my new house? Where's my Visa Gold Card?"The fairy said: "Tough luck. Now that you are a Canadian, you're entitled to "Sweet bugger all like the rest of us." ... and then she disappeared...This one is compliments of DaveA woman married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding."Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?"The bride to be said: "A long frilly white dress with a. " She left, mug in hand. She was back in only a minute or two, trailed by a "draggy" Martha. I put the kettle on, set up a mug with a tea bag, and sat down."Martha's confused," Weena said."About what?" She wants tell us both at the same time." The kettle whistled, Weena got up and brought back the mug. Martha looked down at the table top."Angus wants to take me to New South Wales. He wants me to meet his parents." And the problem is... ?" I asked."I don't know. I want to and I'm afraid to." Vorrei e non vorrei," I said."What?" asked Weena."In Mozart's Don Giovanni Don Juan asks Zerlina to give him her hand and come to his castle. She responds: 'I want to yet I don't.' Bloom misquotes it in Joyce's Ulysses. Sorry." Well, I don't think Angus is much of a Don Juan," Martha said. Then she gave a little laugh. "Not much of a Don Juan at all." Did he do something to upset you?" Weena pursued."No. I think I wish he had. He says he's totally infatuated." He hasn't pushed you into bed?"Martha.
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