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You pretty much told me that.”I nodded, “I did say that, and I haven’t talked myself out of believing that.”“Then it makes sense that it’s bothering you because you don’t believe you can selflessly give yourself to others. There’s always something in it for you, so to speak. And that bothers you. Perhaps your dismissal of altruism was too hasty.”“Before I tell you what Bethany said, would you answer the question?”“No, I don’t feel like you are using me,” she said. “But, there is something we need to talk about. You first, though.”“What Bethany said is that I have very specific needs, related to my failed relationship with my mother, and that I try to please the women around me to prove that I can make them happy. So, in a sense, I’m using them to fill a need. But she made a point to say that they don’t feel used.”“I certainly don’t feel used. You care about me. You’ve admitted you love me. You aren’t IN LOVE with me, but you love me. Do you understand the distinction?”“Yes,. I opened up the air duct underneath it and reached inside. I felt around until I found what I was looking for a quickly pulled it out. I got out under the bed as quick as I could and looked down at a very dusty and dirty plastic bag. Pulling out the contents I looked at my find. A Hustler and Penthouse magazine from 2003. Looking at the brunette on the cover of the Hustler brought back memories of teenage jerking off, trying to be quiet, and wondering what fucking was really going to be like. I quickly stripped out of my clothes and sat down on the floor like I used to when I was a kid. The Magazine between my legs as I reached down with my right hand and stroked my cock. My left hand slowly rubbing my balls stopping reluctantly only to turn the pages. So much pre-cum was leaking out of me that my cock was so very slick within a couple of seconds. Looking at the objects of my teenage lust was putting me in a place that I had never been before. In my entire life, I had never been that.
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