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“You need to complete your portfolio in a professional presentation format. It needs to show progress from your earliest work in each class to your latest work. You should have been maintaining this portfolio all through the year, Tony. This is sloppy work. Just in case you’ve mislaid it, here are the criteria that were handed out during orientation last fall.”“I’ll fix it,” I said, taking the sheet. How did this become such a big deal? Damn, I hate this fucking school.“Oh, and the student exhibition opens a week from Friday. With the splash you made with the mural, you should really have more than one piece in it. Your choice. But we need all the pieces you’ll be exhibiting by end of day Wednesday.”“Thank you.” I left her office feeling stunned. I knew I needed to add more to my portfolio, but I didn’t expect her to come down so hard on me. Shit, if I lost a letter grade in every class there’s no way I’d qualify for my scholarship. I headed back to my room to start gathering stuff. "Right now, I couldn't get it up for Jessica Alba," I muttered."I didn't know you were big on Jessica Alba," Kim said."I just named the first Hollywood type that came to mind," I said."I guess she is pretty hot, at that." Who?" Alba. Who else?" You know who's hot?" I asked her."Julia Roberts?" Tess said. She knew I was hot for Julia Roberts."Well, yeah. But I was thinking, Helen Mirren." Helen... !... She's like -- what? Sixty?" She's older, but, man, she's still really got it, Tess. Damn!" So you're saying, if Helen Mirren were here in bed with us, you'd want to do her -- even though you're all tired out. But you're too tired to do me and Kim." Hmmmm. Yeah, I guess that about sums it up... But -- I might be able to get it up for Helen and Kim."I expected that one to get me hit by a pillow or worse, and I wasn't disappointed. But I wasn't worried. Tess loved this kind of stuff. And if Helen Mirren had been there, Tess would have dived right in. Or Julia. Or that Alba chick.But after a.
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