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There will be no sharing of retirement assets either.You can keep your car and I will keep mine. We will sell the boat and any other large items and evenly split the proceeds." "We can say that we just drifted apart, call it irreconcilable differences or whatever, but if you agree to all of this Francine will not be named as a correspondent." "That should do it. If you should choose to reject this offer, please know that I will file divorce proceedings, everything will go public, Francine will be named and anyone who is interested will learn of your ongoing affair with Francine. Any questions or comments?" Elaine looked defeated. She asked if I would leave her and Francine alone for a minute so that they could discuss my offer. I agreed and went outside while they talked. As I walked in the backyard I thought about what I had told her. Perhaps it was a bit harsh, but she had no recourse. This was a pretty fair deal, when you consider that she had so much to lose. I wanted to spare. Nobody spoke for a few seconds, but the silence was so heavy it seemed like many minutes. Dad spoke first. "You know, Karen, when your mother and I saw you over Chanukah, I was struck by how much you resembled your great-aunt Maxine when she was younger. I've got some old pictures of her."Dad had just called me Karen twice. I liked that. It was progress."Dear Aunt Maxi," said Mom fondly. "Some of your father's relatives didn't like me at first, Karen, but Aunt Maxi was my best friend in your father's family."Dad turned to Mom and smiled broadly for the first time that day. "Your best friend except for me, of course," he said."Of course, dear." Mom patted him on the shoulder."One of mine, too," I said, "I remember how much I loved to have her come over and baby-sit when I was a little boy."On that note, the party came to a close. It was the strangest birthday party I'd ever had. It was also strange to hear myself using the words "when I was a little boy." Had I really started out in.
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