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Every new dad looks forward to the end of the sex weeks-I mean, six weeks that they tell you to wait before you have sex again. (I swear, that was a typo that I decided to leave in because it shows you where my head was at the time.) The night of the end of the six weeks, Sam told me she wasn’t ready yet. I should have picked up on the signs, but I was thinking with my dick instead of my heart. She still felt fat and unattractive. Sam leaves work and gets home before I do, so I took the opportunity to lay out the sexy negligée I’d bought for her on Valentine’s Day the year before. She put it on that night and gave me a hand job, but she still couldn’t bring herself to let me do anything for her. I also reverted to calling her Samantha. A couple days later, we were discussing things we want to do for Amanda. Vacations, cultural institutions, that sort of thing. In the course of discussing music, we agreed that she should be comfortable going to the theater and the symphony. That. But she later found out the less satisfying truth. Her mom was just from a Vietnamese area of Los Angeles and Dad had lived next door to her. She barely spoke any English when he knocked her up and they took off before her parents could kill him. Neither had graduated High School and now worked crappy jobs just to pay for their smokes and beer. Raising her was just another chore that they neglected as much as possible. Why couldnt I just have been lucky like Becky? She just had a Mom but she seemed so nice. Or Mrs. Font? I wish I could have the life those two little babies or hers and Mr. Font are going to have. No screaming. No endless days forgetting the last time they were sober. Try as I can I just cant imagine them that way. It makes me happy. All I got to do now is survive to college. Somehow I will find a way to afford it. I pulled out the applications Id already gotten back from several colleges, all ready to send, just waiting for a copy of her SAT scores to go with them..
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