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AllenClarke told me simply during one of our regular one on one sessions.The psychiatrist gave me a troubled look as he went on. "Accident anddisaster survivors are often left with the idea that they shouldn'thave lived, and are guilty that they did. It's nonsense, but that'sthe Human psyche for you." So that's why I feel so miserable at times?" I questioned with a smallshrug. Putting a name to the reasons for at least some of mydepression wasn't all that much help, really. "But why do I still havethose damned nightmares? I'm pretty sure the staff around here isthinking of soundproofing my room." The nightmares are pretty normal, Eric," Clarke answered with a smallfrown. You're not clear, mentally or emotionally, of that accidentyet, and honestly you probably won't ever be. But as you get back intothe routines of daily living out in the world, they should fade, andbecome rare visits to a past that isn't healthy for you to dwell on anylonger." Great, another doctor telling me. She had been hating the thought of having to act like a slut in all these ways while Erica looked on and judged, but making Erica do it too made it much easier."And you're not allowed to wear clothes in our bedroom - which is up the front of the house now," Laura continued, "and no clothes in the backyard either. And I've had new TVs put in which will teach you to be less of a terrible disobedient bitch."Laura led Erica to the back door. "Why don't you go outside and piss and shower, baby, and then when you come back in I'll dry you off and you can tell me all about your day?"Erica clearly didn't want to go outside naked, but Laura opened the door and gave her a little push. Unsteady on her high heels, Erica stumbled out onto the back porch, and Laura closed and locked the glass sliding door behind her. Erica's face became panicked, and she began to bang on the door, wanting to be let back in. The sound only attracted the attention of Laura's neighbour Ranjit, who emerged from.
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