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All those plans -- junior executive, assistant professor, etc. -- were (somewhat vaguely) still in my "future," but for now, I was on an extended Road Trip with the Amazing Ton 'a Tits Tess, Girl Golfer.There wasn't a lot of money in it, but the fringe benefits -- goodness gracious!Tess' finances were handled by one of her father's associates -- an accountant and tax lawyer who was better-suited to the task than either Tess or I would have been. He had set her up with a comprehensive computer program designed to keep track of every dime she spent, for maximum tax-related advantage.But all other aspects of Tess' personal and professional life were in her own hands -- or, by default, in mine. Tess wasn't dumb and she wasn't ditsy; between the two of us, we managed her travel schedule, made generally intelligent decisions about such things as breaks from the grind of the tour, her practice schedule, and other aspects of her life as a professional athlete."Managing" those aspects of Tess'. Let’s go pencilhead!’ Wonderful. * * * I finally managed to unjam the copier that Fuchs fucked up and headed home around eight o’clock. By then my clothes had dried and were as stiff as cardboard. All I wanted to do was get a shower and get something to eat, preferably something other than fish parmesan. I walked up to the front door, unlocked it and entered. There in the middle of the living room floor was a present from my dog Jack and a mighty present it was rising majestically nearly six inches from the carpet. The saddest part about that moment was that I didn’t even smell it. My own stench was drowning it out. ‘Priscilla?’ I yelled up the stairs for my daughter. ‘Priscilla, why is there a pile of dog shit the size of a Studebaker on the floor down here? Don’t you know how to let the dog out?’ There was no response. That’s when I noticed that Jack was sleeping on the forbidden sofa. He lifted his head and looked at me like I should keep my voice down while he was resting. .
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