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"WHAT?" she growled. She had a paddle in her hand. I opened my mouth and "SMACK!" came the paddle down on my soft hips. "ouuuuch!" I yelped and looked up in the mirror.She was smiling as she held the paddle up.I wanted to plead with her and tried again."Mo...." and the paddle came down again.I stopped trying and let my mother paddle my rear trying my best to contain my groans. Finally she got tired and put her leather clad foot on my ass and pushed me forward. I fell flat on my face. With no compassion she climbed on my ass but thankfully didn't push her heels. I felt her 175 lbs on my ass. I sucked my breath in and tried not to yell out in pain.I looked up, trying to breathe and saw her smiling as she looked at herself in the mirror, standing on her only son's ass, abusing his body. She looked happy."I think I look sexy." she said."Yes mother" I agreed hoping that'd make her happy enough to get off me."I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR APPROVAL, YOU SHIT " she yelled."What gave you the idea that. ’(Loved this one!)6. It’s not his’CRACK’you see hanging out of his pants - It’s ‘TROUSER CLEAVAGE.’This is likely a repeat but it is worth a re-read“As good as this bar is,” said the Scotsman, “I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there’s a wee place called McTavish’s.The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he’ll buy the fifth drink.”“Well, Angus,” said the Englishman, “at my local pub in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two.”“Ahhh, dat’s nothin’,” said the Irishman, “back home in me favourite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they’ll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you’ve had enough drinks, they’ll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house!”The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims.The Irishman swore every word was true.“Did this actually happen to you?” asked the Englishman.“Not me self,.
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