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'Shit, my best shirt!' I took it right off and headed to the laundry to soak it. I walked back past the lounge room. The TV was on Claire was laying on the sofa asleep. I touched her shoulder. 'Hey wake up it's late,' I said gently. She woke up confused and pushed me away. I just smiled and said, 'It's me Jake.' 'Sorry, you scared me'. 'Time for bed,' I told her and helped her up. 'Where's Jason?' she asked. 'He's staying at his girlfriend's tonight'. Claire gave me a coy look. 'That's fine' she said. I turned off the TV and we headed up stairs with Claire leading the way. Claire turned into her room. I was standing at the door. 'Good night Claire' I said. She smiled and said, 'Aren't you going to tuck me in?' I was surprised by the request but decided to go along with it. As we got to the bed she stopped, turned and said, 'Are you really a virgin Jake?' . 'Yep, I sure am.' Claire leaned in to give me a hug. I could feel her hands run up and down my back. 'Wow you feel so nice,' she. Whenever I was her, I felt right and whole. Whenever I see her in the mirror or a photo, I know she is me. And I am so glad, so very glad, I embraced myself by embracing her. Jennifer started out shy and timid – uncertain of herself and how others saw her. Not quite sure she was attractive or desirable. She began life with a pink and white wardrobe and long skirts which suggested virginal purity but did not truly reflect who she was. The first boyfriends and lovers helped end that phase. I still recall those who first flirted with me and treated me as a woman, even though they knew I was a special kind of gurl. The fact that I was different and exotic made me more attractive not less. That I worked harder at being pretty and feminine and sexy than most biological women made me even more so. Once I learned that, once I was held and kissed and admired as Jennifer, my confidence grew and I fully accepted what I wanted and who I was, and will be forever more. Being a gurl today is so.
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