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"Hmmm, we'll have to get a bit of walking practise in, won't wedarling" she said sarcastically. I don't think she expected a reply.She pulled up another chair and grabbed my face by the chin, examiningme. After a few "hmms," she opened her make-up drawer and startedgetting out all sorts of bottles and jars."I bet you're loving this," she said."Well, actually, I'm a bit worried about time," I said, "I don't thinkwe've got that long 'til the guests come." Ah, don't you worry your pretty little head about that. It won't takeme long to fix up your make-up, then you can set about tidying thehouse."She started with a foundation, all over my face. I didn't have a cluewhat she was doing; she'd turned me away from the mirror. Shepencilled over my eyebrows then applied an eye shadow and eye pencil.I kept still whilst she applied mascara and sat there patiently whenleaned back to examine her handy work."Not bad, not bad" she muttered to herself before flourishing a blusherbrush and. . keep your mouth shut.Fixing the dentsOne day a Stepford Wife entered an auto body shop claiming that she’d suffered extensive damage to her new car.The mechanic thought he’d have some fun with her so he told her that she didn’t need him to fixed all the dents.He said she could fix them herself by blowing into the tailpipe as hard as she could and they’d all pop out.The Stepford Wives went home and proceeded to get down on her hands and knees in the driveway. She was blowing into the pipe as hard as she could and her face was turning purple when The Stepford Wife from across the street walked over and asked what she was doing?After hearing the whole story the second Stepford Wife pauses for a moment then responds, “Hello! The windows are down!”The Church GossipMildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business.Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to.
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