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Your Aldershot 'wife' was tasty, but your real wife is a stunner!"Toby Belcher had me to thank for saving his arse over the Christmas when he had been the worse for wear with drink. It would have meant dismissal from the army if he had been found drunk on duty, and he owed me, and the lads on guard with me, a great deal."Jenny's a nurse at Swindon General. I met her when one of the platoon had to be taken to Accident and Emergency after getting heat stroke on a speed march. I fell in love with her at first sight--how's that for a cliche?" He looked at me and continued,"I know this won't go any further?"I nodded and he resumed."Gwen and I hadn't been getting on for some time. She'd been shagging her boss for over a year, which came as a complete shock to me when I found out. As I was going to be on duty over Christmas I thought I'd surprise her and take her out for a meal, on the day before Christmas Eve. I went round to the surgery to pick her up from her work."He shook his head as. Unfortunately, the ruts werenothing in comparison to the next obstacle I was to face.Screaming down the straightaway, my focus remained on that rider rightbehind me. I knew this was no way to race. I knew that to be successfulI would have to ride my own race. But the threat of permanentfemininity suddenly began to resurface in my mind and cloud mythoughts. I was quickly snapped back to reality though when I realizedwhat new obstacle was lying ahead of me. I cringed and braced myselffor the rapidly approaching series of "whoop-de-doos". Just to clarifymatters for the non-racers here, whoop-de-doos are a series of smallerjumps, more like several humps placed tightly together. Imagine tryingto ride a bike over the backs of several unusually large camels, lyingin a straight line. It was the type of obstacle that required a preciserhythm to manage if one expected to make it through without going overtheir handlebars. Under normal racing circumstances I would have hadthe composure to set.
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