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I shook my head to force the negative thoughts out. Fighting these black moods and self-criticism was a never-ending battle. I knew I wasn't being fair to myself. Until Mother died, I'd had my life turned around, at least some. Actually, Gina and Margot had turned my life around.Gina, especially, had finally told me that I needed to change. She'd been pretty firm, too. I yelled and screamed. I threw a tantrum. I sulked. And when the choice became clear that I'd lose my best friends if I didn't do something, I'd started changing. Years later, with what seemed like their tireless support, I was still fighting to change. In the process I'd found out that I didn't really know who Regan Thomas was, though in the last few years I'd started looking forward to meeting her.After a few minutes, when Alice set the coffee on the table, I dragged myself back from the depths of my thoughts. I looked out into the parking lot while I sipped the paint thinner she called 'not too bad' coffee. I think I. .." "sorry for what? stand up" "what?" "stand up , you are tying , your tied shoe lashes .... hahahaha" Gathering all the pride and strength that was left in me , I stood up ..... then I could do nothing to hide.She took a look and laughed again "that is why you are sorry?" "yes , did not want to offend you , but .... you are just amazing..." "you have no reason to feel sorry hahahaha ..... instead you should feel proud;)" she said still laughing "come on , let's smoke a cigarette and drink that coffe so that you calm .... hahahaha , don't worry , think like it never happened :)" "I 'll try" I said , almost not believing what I have just heard and haven't really understand if she was making me a compliment or just laughed at me.... the time of the break passed and we boarded again.I tried not to think what happened and show that I was comfortable , but I was not and she understood that clearly.Though , she was still talking as before.After some time the most passengers were sleeping.
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