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..”“Yeah,” I grinned.“Anyway, the two problems create what appears to be an increasingly impossible balancing act. Vitamin D is, at best, a defensive measure at this point. It helps, but I’m not sure it helps enough.”“But I haven’t been depressed,” I replied.“Nor manic. Remember, it’s swings. Right now, the combination of diet, exercise, sleep, and supplements has your bipolar disorder in a VERY narrow range, such that it appears to others that you have a normal set of emotional swings. But you don’t - it’s artificially induced, and even tiny variations in your daily regimen can upset that balance. That’s where the drugs are effective.”“No drugs.”“I know. The goal of your four days is to figure out what we’re missing. Maybe it IS all related to your hypothalamus and we just don’t understand it as well as we think we do, which isn’t all that well, in truth.”“A doctor admitting she doesn’t know everything?” I asked teasingly. “Wow!”“If I was that kind of doctor, I’d be a trauma. "I think things workedout pretty well, all considered." It's true. But you know, in some ways, it's harder now than it wasbefore. Before she came, it was easier to imagine she belonged to anotherlife. Now, having been here, she's here all the time. Or rather the emptyplace she's left behind is here." It's worth it, though. To feel pain. If that's the price of connection.Don't you think?" I don't know." Of course you do."And Marcia supposed he was right."Have you given any more thought to my proposal?" Of course." And?" Maybe the time just isn't right."Walt let it rest for a while. Then he said, "Come on, throw some jeanson. We're taking a drive." A drive?" I want to show you something." Now?" No time like the present."* * *It was the oddest place he'd chosen yet to propose marriage. The HopeCrossing Cemetery was deserted at that hour. A pre-dawn, milky fogdrifted over the softly rolling grounds and swaddled the stones, whichemerged like isolated islands in a sea of eternity. Walt.
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