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" "What does that have to do with anything?" I demanded. "Everything. What are you afraid of, him or me?" "I'm not afraid!" "Aren't you? I'm changing, are you willing to see that?" "Changing?" "Yes," she said, and in literally the blink of an eye she went from being a ten-year-old girl to being fifteen. "I'm growing up." Another shift and she was twenty-one. "I'm not a scared little girl anymore." Another blink and she was my age. "I've grown up, we've grown up. You just have to accept that. You have to stop running, stop running from yourself." "I've no idea what you're talking about," I said defiantly. "You're not just a product of your pain." "I told you, I'm past all that." "I know you keep saying it, but do you believe it? You've come so far, no longer the little girl inside when everyone saw you as a little boy on the outside. Now you're a woman on the outside, when are you going to let yourself be a woman on the inside?" "Stop it!" I demanded. "I can't," she said in a voice so. He looked at her with so much love in his eyes. I wanted someone to look at me like that one day. I wanted someone to hold me, the way he held her, to love me as deeply as he loved her, but the boys my age were only concerned with touching boobs and telling their friends about it. These boys would never give me what I wanted, I knew that what I wanted, was a need that only my father could fulfill. I remember the day my bitch of a mother left us. I was still a child. She left to go to the supermarket, and never came back. My father, being the loving husband that he was, grew scared and started telling people that she probably got kidnapped. Later on that week though, she sent him a letter that said Dear John, I cant be with you anymore, Im in love with our neighbor Bill. Weve run off together, so please dont try and find me. Take care of Beth, will ya. – Bev My dad would have never let me see that letter, but the day it came in the mail, I knew who it was from. His reaction told me.
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