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I’m going to have to slap the shit out of you.One old lady to another: I went to my HMO Dr. today.Other lady:I think our doctor is an HMO, but Frank thinks he’s straight.The seven dwarves of menopause: bitchy, itchy, sweaty, sleepy, bloated, forgetful and psycho.Why we love children!!A kindergarten told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead.“How do you know that the cat was dead?” she asked.Because I just pissed in its ear and it didn’t move, answered the child innocently.“You did what?” the teacher exclaimed in surprise. “ you know,” explained the boy “I leaned over and went pssst into its ear and it didn’t move.”An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, how do you expect to get into heaven? He thought it over and said “well I will run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door, until St. Peter says, come in or stay out!It was that time during the Sunday morning service, for the children’s sermon. All the children were. After seeing my dad jerk off, I dreamt about his luscious cock sliding into my wet sex, and his tongue playing with my clit many times. I devised a plan to seduce him and this what I did. My mom and sister had gone on holiday to Paris just after I saw, and my brother had already moved out, so it was just me and dad. I started to wear these really tight shorts that my ass hung out of with a really tight vest top that was slightly see through without a bra and I pretended I didn't know it was see through. When we were in the kitchen together, I dropped something and bent down with my ass right in his face, I know he liked it because he was still watching me when I got up. My nipples had become hard and my dad was staring at them, I gave him a seductive yet innocent look and walked away. The next day I was in my bedroom masturbating and I had left my door slightly open, enough to be able to see me. Then when I heard him starting to walk by I moaned and said things like, "Oh dad, that.
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