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I fantasized about boys and men. I wanted to be around males as much as possible. I was a Boy Scout for several years and I loved to go on camping trips where I might see my fellow Scouts swimming naked. I wanted nothing more than to suck all their cocks, but I was too afraid to initiate anything.I have lived as a straight man all my life with many girlfriends, several wives and stepchildren, but if I had the nerve, I would have preferred to live the "queer life." I was sexual with all these women and I was a good lover, but I always had a yen for men. More than once I had to use the fantasy of sex with a man to get off with my female lovers.I started exploring my homosexuality when I was thirty-five. I would go to my favorite adult theater, "The Paradise," to watch gay porn and have sex. The Paradise is two theaters in one; a straight theater and a gay theater. Most of the patrons start in the straight theater, but within minutes they migrate to the gay theater. This is where I got. Or maybe I just can’t wait any longer. Pulling his wet hot cock from my mouth, I’m plain with what I want next: “Fuck me. Any way you want. Just get your big cock inside me.” I say it gaspingly, huskily, desperately. I want it in all those ways. If I don’t feel something filling up one of my holes, I feel like I might just die. I haven’t even finished turning around to offer my ass to him when I feel the head of his cock sliding across my ass cheek. The head skims across my anus, then begins to probe lower down. He’s going to take my cunt. But suddenly the Captain’s cock is pressing against my anal ring, adamantly, and I tremble with anticipation. Yes! Fuck my ass, I silently pray to him. He’s gentle but insistent, pressing the head in slowly, wiggling it to find the easiest way past the stiffened gates to my tightest hole. Unless you’ve had a cock shoved into your ass, you won’t understand the strange mix of uncomfortableness and pleasure that sweeps through you once a shaft is deep.
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