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.."PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a... 44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're not. You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey,"You say here that your wife is crazy." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was. " Clearing his throat, obviously having a hard time, he took a sip of his drink and continued, "We have a meeting scheduled for Tuesday. My lawyers' investigators have discovered interesting things about Jill's doctor friend. We'll hit her with a proposal that will only last the length of the meeting. Full custody of Linda for me, sell the house and split the proceeds, split our savings, me pay off all the bills — which isn't much since I canceled our credit cards and went through the process of making myself non-responsible for anything she charged. Also, she gets our new car, with me paying it off. A cash incentive, and a few other things."The lawyers have already filed a complaint to the medical board on her doctor buddy. If he leaves the state, and as I understand it, he's limited to where he can go to practice when he does, they're not going to push it further. Anyway, if they accept and sign the papers during the meeting, then she gets what I've mentioned, if not, we carry it to.
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