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But you should not do it in front of your mom.I didn’t say anything. Then slowly she asked –Mom: How often do you masturbate?Me: Whenever I feel horny.Mom: Do you have a girlfriend?I said: No, mom.Mom: So, are you still a virgin?Me: Yes.Then there was silence as we reached the valley. It was too cold, so we immediately went to our rooms. There was nothing to do as it was too cold. So, we started talking. This time, I asked her –Me: Mom, how often dad fucks you?At first, she hesitated, but then she said –Mom: Once in a month or two.I was shocked to hear this. Then I asked her –Me: Why?Mom: You know your dad is busy and when he is free, he drinks. So, he doesn’t have time to pleasure me.Me: Then how do you get satisfied?Mom: Nothing, I sacrifice my desires whenever I feel low.Then I grabbed some courage and asked her –Me: Can I satisfy you?She said: If anyone comes to know, then it will be shameful.On this, I said, “Who will say this to others? I am your son and I am always here to. If I can't have a couple of beers to chug, I guess I'll have to settle for this shit." I turned to the couple at the table whose champagne I was stealing. "Don't worry, I'll get you another bottle, but right now I'm just thirsty as hell." I upended the bottle and chug chug chug chug. Down it went. I held the bottle up from my lips, still raised, than downed the bottle too. I looked at the waiter and belched. "Bring them a bottle of whatever the most expensive thing in the house is, please, and how come you haven't left yet to put in my order? Don't think I won't stiff you for the tip, either. So far the service in this joint hasn't been jack shit."I sat down. The cops were all looking at me with that standard look on their faces. "Don't be afraid to order whatever you want, fellows. I'm picking up the tab." How did you do that?" One asked."Dude, I'm the head of security for the fuckin' Ambassador, you know?" That's fucking impossible!" Naw, it's a party trick." Yeah?" Yeah. You kind.
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