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"That bastard," she shook her head as she typed on her keyboard. "You don't think my hair is too short?" "I don't think so," I shrugged. Alice took out her phone and began to look at herself in the camera. "You know how he gets when he doesn't get his way." "Still holding out on him, huh?" Alice said as she put down her phone. "What's the point?" I shrugged as I looked at my monitor. "He gets what he wants, then rolls over and goes to sleep, leaving me warmed up and no release in sight." "Do what I do," Alice shrugged as she worked on an application. "Let him get his rocks off, then go in the bathroom and finish the job." "That is stupid," I replied shaking my head. "Why go through the hassle?" "Eddie only lasts a minute, if that at times," Alice smiled. "Once every few months I will bring it up, to rattle his man cage. It makes him want to do something nice or take me on vacation. So it is worth it in the end." I shook my head. The last time Stan and I went on vacation we ended up. Instead, for the next two years we became strangers living in the same house, with our sex life or any other meaningful signs of any real emotional attachment, quite nonexistent. I tried to provide little Olivia with a bit of the extra love that her mother seemed incapable of showing to her, but I knew that it wasn’t enough. How do you explain to a two year old that her mother doesn’t love her and obviously wishes daily that she had never been born? At work my marital unhappiness was soon well known, and I had several offers of ‘companionship’. Once, when I was at a very low emotional moment during the joyless Christmas season of 1981, I accepted one of those offers from a young coworker named Marlie. We went to a motel on the outskirts of town and had fun for 3 hours. I felt guilty over the breaking of marital vows, but what vows had she kept for me? I was certainly not loved or cherished, let alone honored or even remotely obeyed. Those 3 hours of sheer joy probably saved my own.
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