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. it gave me peace and confidence. It was my friend... how could it be bad? 'Sides, I never got violent like real drunks do. I just got sleepy, so sleepy. But warm, fuzzy.Carla came along, singing a song, even in my dreams I still imagine things — but I can't piece it together.Carla, my little beauty. My love. I lied to June — I hid things from her. But, Carla. No, I couldn't. I tried. I really tried. I cut back. Just drank beer. Yeah, sure! Carla my life.Then that night. I was on a bender... hadn't been home for two days. June came looking for me — found me — in back of Lenny's Tavern with the local bar slut. She saw my car. Wasn't sure. Opened the door. Started crying, crying, running, running away from me. Bar slut laughed and handed me the bottle. The next day I was in jail and June wouldn't come.She didn't ever come anymore. My sister called a lawyer for me from her home in Washington and he got me out on a misdemeanor "drunk in public" — no more, my sister said — and I moved to. No one is around to make fun of you except that guy and… …and who? Was I alone? He paused. Something was missing. Someone was missing. For the first time since this absurd situation had begun he turned to look in the one direction he hadn’t: behind him. Looking behind him was like looking into the past. And why was the past (especially the recent past) something he feared deeply? He closed his eyes making the 180-degree turn and opened them warily only when facing squarely down the embankment. Resting at the bottom like some dead solider was the traumatized remains of a four-door sedan — his four-door sedan. Barely recognizable, it lay on its side: lifeless, passenger side up, propped against a splintered tree. The windows were little more than a tangled spider web of busted glass, every visible inch of metal was either dented, punctured or ripped clean from the automobiles broken bones. He held a tremulous hand over a tremulous mouth, agape with shock, wondering by what grace of.
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