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I panicked that I was wetting the bed and quickly woke my mum. She pulled down the sheets only to look me in my eyes and say that this was normal. She told me to remove my pajama shorts which embarrassed me a bit. She quickly grabbed some tissues and cleaned me up, but it felt very weird when she started handling my still erect penis and gently squeezing the contents into the tissues. I felt so ashamed at what was occurring but it also felt amazing how she touched my penis. I feel go guilty right now.Sunday, October 17th 1979 Mum's been acting differently toward me ever since that incident last weekend in bed. I was terrified that she would tell my friends or her friends of what happened with me in bed. I keep feeling ashamed when her friends are over, and I was scared to bring my own friends to our home. Will she tell her friends I wet the bed?Friday, March 4th 1980Before we were about to sleep last night, Mum gave me this sad look. She said that my penis is deformed, and asked. The pain and the burning sensation plus my exhausted state made me dizzy so I had to make a pause after 25 strokes. Yes, I must admit, I even brought myself to climax during this pause J I also took a photo of the blood-stained sheet plus the switches.Blood splattered on the white sheet and although most wounds closed just after the stroke, there were some that kept on bleeding for a longer time and small trails of blood were trickling down my thighs. It felt like this pain and vicious fire which was running through every nerve in my body would never end. I was totally obsessed with the pain and I felt the well known sensation as the endorphin level was starting to rise. When I finally had administred the 48th stroke, my poor buttocks were like two big swollen globes burning with pain. Bright red and covered with small swollen pimples where the wounds had closed. I must have had hundreds of bleeding wounds on my buttocks and I was so sore that even the slightest touch of my lacerated.
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