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Several Frenchies tried to stop me from progressing any further, but I was armed with an axe, which I wielded so successfully I managed to stay alive until more of my compatriots of The Forlorn Hope joined me on the battlements, and we prevailed.Fortuitously, as I was laying about me with the axe, scattering Frogs left right and centre, General Wellesley was peering through his telescope and saw my valiant deed.“Who is that Berserker?” He exclaimed, “if he survives the day then send him to me!”After the battle, with me still smeared and reeking with the blood of several decapitated Frenchmen, General Wellesley granted me a battlefield commission. I was promoted to Lieutenant, and became an Officer and a Gentleman.There is more to becoming an officer than merely having the regimental tailor sew the epaulettes denoting my new rank onto my tunic. In the first place an officer’s tunic is made from a finer blend of wools than the coarser material of the tunics worn by the other ranks, and. I was concerned that the bully might bleed to death before he got expert medical aid, and that view was confirmed by Mrs. Ziegler, the school nurse."When the EMTs arrived, I released my grip on Mr. Lawson's crushed fist and went with Mr. Bancroft to the office. That's where I was told that I was banished from the school for a week and not allowed to play in the upcoming football game. This was all because of the arbitrary conditions set by the zero-tolerance for fighting rule. Am I bitter about this foolish rule that penalizes self defense? Yes! Am I bitter about being forced to miss a football game, thereby letting down my teammates? Yes! Am I bitter about not being able to do anything about this foolish rule? Yes! If I had my choice, I would move to someplace that did not have such a foolish rule."Thank you for listening to me."Billy sat down to dead silence. A few seconds later, applause started among the spectators and was picked up by the members of the school board. Mr..
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