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When the Christians recovered from the shock, the older man led them in a charge at me, very roughly pushing intervening people aside as they rushed at me, the rear two raising crucifixes while all three of them told some guy called Satan to get back to Hell. They apparently had me confused with someone else.They violently pushed their way through the four rows of reporters ahead of them. I thought Jesus taught politeness, but I've must've got that wrong. The leading numbskull broke through the front rank of reporters, his spare hand pulling a vial of presumably holy water out of a pocket as he raised the cross in his other hand triumphantly and ran right over the edge. He dropped out of sight while demanding, "Get thee hen ... AHHHH!"The reporters on either side of him were still recovering from their being pushed so hard so weren't able to save Numbnuts, even if they'd wanted to. To clear the deck for some useful conversation, I used NP to give hard pushes to the two remaining. I might even be able to be talked into being whipped. I won't be tied though. The desperate urge to be able to defend myself should (God forbid) halfway through my bondage session, my mistress decides she didn't like the fact that I had lunch with a female friend some time ago and decides to castrate yours truly with a rusty g****fruit spoon.Now, on the surface this might not sound like a problem, but two things need to be made clear. The first is that I seem to attract mentally unstable people like flies to honey. Luckily, I've learned to stay away from them, and thankfully my current girlfriend is a normal, sane human being. This is where the second problem comes in. "What second problem? Didn't you just say your girlfriend is normal?" you might be asking. Yes, she is, and she's amazing and I love her. Here's the problem though.She's too nice. A lot of the girls I've been with have been too nice to slap me around a bit. Even if they did, they're too nice to really give a good slap..
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