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It was a good job I didn’t though as what happened later was….well let me tell you. I was invited in and shown to my room on the third floor. As I followed Jaqui up the stairs I was having trouble concentrating on the conversation as the cheeks of her arse were just visible to me. Oh and she was even speaking to me in near perfect English! I settled into my room and Jaqui said she would give me some time to freshen up.Well instead of freshening up I had a wank . Boy did I shoot my load with the vision of her in my mind. The rest of the night went ok with me meeting Helen and Jaques, Jaqui’s parents, followed by a long dinner with the 3 of them whilst answering 1000 questions about my family, school, England and shit like that. I went to bed and slept like a log. The next day I was woken to bright sunlight. Jaqui was in my room and had opened the curtains. Just to make sure I was awake she said, “Get up sleepy head”. As it had been quite hot I had only used a thin sheet to cover. "Yes, I know that," the producer snapped back. "Sing."Simon took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He didn't know why, but it seemed as though he should. He listened to the introduction in his head and then prepared himself to sing."It's been seven hours and fifteen days," Simon belted out as, tunelessly amending his pitch to compensate for his lack of singing ability. "Since you took your love away."Simon waved his hands around theatrically and extending them forward to gesture to the unseen and imaginatively present crowd in front of him.The panel sniggered but Simon was so absorbed in his own performance he didn't see and it was at the end of the massacred chorus when he was stopped."So why are you here?" The producer asked, still not having forgiven Simon for correcting him earlier."I want a better life for my family," Simon instinctively replied and he grinned."Well I want a better life for my eardrums so you definitely ain't going through." It's a no from me, too. If you are.
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