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My entire outlook had changed. I knew what I had gotten myself into, yet I wasn’t about to leave it. The more I got of James, the more I wanted. And he gave me just that, more. But my addiction wasn’t satisfied. My hunger was so sick and twisted that I did anything just to get James into me. We began having sex everywhere — in the kitchen, in the car, in public bathrooms, and even just right in public. I wanted him and he controlled me. *** Some months had passed. I lay naked in bed that early Saturday morning, fully intending to sleep in as I had not been scheduled to work. Obviously, James had other plans. As the sun began to rise that weekend morning, I felt his warmth move from behind me and hover over my exposed side. Just barely gaining awareness, I shifted my head on the pillow as I felt those thin, rough lips move over my cheek and back down across to my earlobe. I could hear his breathing as he opened his mouth and began to lick my earlobes, moving his curious hand down my. Later that Christmas morning, he took the two older children outside to play a little before lunch. Lizbeth asked him if he was their new daddy. James was afraid something like that would eventually happen but he was still unprepared for the question. How could he ever be prepared for the question? He swung her little body up into the air and kissed her nose just as he did so many times before the… His eyes clouded over and he gently set her down onto the grass and went into the house. Closing the door to his bedroom, he lay on the bed staring at the ceiling. Over four years gone by and it hurt as if it were yesterday. He knew the killers were still out there, living free while he was locked in an emotional prison he could not seem to escape… nor was he sure that he even wanted to. Even with his increasing and very unsettling attraction to Bethany Rose, he was still deeply in love with his lost wife and his two little angels and if he believed in prayer, it would have been to them. .
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