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What I saw broke my heart. There was trepidation, mixed with resolve. She was anxious, excited, scared, aroused, nervous, and in love. I reached up and pulled her head forward until our foreheads touched, a gesture that seemed almost more intimate than what we were both anticipating."Shay," I whispered. "We don't need to do anything you aren't ready for. We can just take it however fast or slow you need." I almost said that I loved her, but it didn't seem right at the time. Those words seemed like they might have added pressure, like I was using them to convince her to have sex with me.She shook her head. "I'm ready. I need to do this with you, Brody. I need to feel this from a guy who cares about me, cares about my feelings." Her eyes began to glisten. "I need someone who will be tender and loving and help me chase away all the bad memories that don't seem to want to go away, that seem to haunt me every time I close my eyes. I need to replace them with happy memories and happy. I felt someone grab my arm. When I turned around I saw it was JR holding on to me."Leave me alone!" I said, trying to free myself from his grip."Jackie, what's wrong? What did I do?" JR asked."You don't know? How could you not know! You did it!" I'm sorry for whatever it was I did, but I still don't know what it was." JR kept calm as he talked to me."You gave me to Ted this morning, that's what. How could you invite my old boyfriend to eat me in front of everyone like that?" Um, I thought you liked it. I just thought it would be fun for you. If I would have known it would have upset you so much, I wouldn't have done it. Look, I love you—I love you more than anything in the world. Please forgive me, it'll never happen again," JR said.I looked into JR's eyes, seeing them filled with tears. He let go of my arm and began slowly walking away. I watched him shuffling his feet, his head down as he moved away from me. I began crying, wondering what I had done."JR, WAIT!" I shouted to him. I.
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