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You ran to the store to buy a bikini, since your only swimsuit was a bit embarrassing, but it was closed and you realized it was after midnight. So you came back to your house and that's when things got bad. Apparently somebody thought they were witnessing a rape and they called the police (it turns out both people were just drunk and acting crazy).Next thing you know your parents are home from their trip early, and they're not happy. Your mom says she hardly even recognizes you anymore. You tried to explain what happened but they didn't listen to you, saying you were just making it up. They said they had no reason to trust you after that. You got grounded and didn't even feel like sneaking out, just let the last two weeks of August go by so you could go back to school and at least have something to do.On a day near the end of August your parents were both acting strange, being extra nice to you and they even made you pancakes for breakfast. They said they're lifting your grounding. What gives me greater cause for concern is that you say you revere our extraterrestrial tradition of probing orifices, yet your eyes betray an obvious lack of interest in the probing of orifices. I am given a sudden cause to wonder whether you are the pure extraterrestrial your pedigree papers promise you are.”“It isn’t that I have anything against the probing of an orifice. But wouldn’t it be better to soften their resistance or assure them all will be fine and that they will end up in what their fellow inhabitants would call an orgy during which erotic pleasures will go on and on like sailing on earthly seas?”The commanding extraterrestrial looked at the younger and greener extraterrestrial as though spewing a mouthful of coffee so watery-weak, none but a sissy extraterrestrial would tolerate it.“You listen to me and you listen good. No concept can be more abhorrent to our race of intergalactic adventurers than to not abduct an inhabitant from a planet and tie them up for extensive.
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