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What you don't realize until you stay in a hotel is just how much sex is going on all the time. I guess it has to do with being on vacation, some kind of excitement about getting to do it in new places. But not only do lots of beds have wet stains every morning, but you find the signs of sex everywhere-- condom wrappers in the woods out back of the place, used condoms and the ends of joints in the sauna, panties scrunched into the cushions of the furniture on the veranda, and-- I'm not kidding here, you'd be surprised how often this one happens-- clumps of shaved pubic hair in the bathtub. ("Honey, let's go to Montana so I can shave my dick." What's up with that?)Oh, and that little sign that goes on the door saying "Do Not Disturb?" You soon learn, as a maid, that a lot of people have no idea what it's for, and you need to knock, say hello, jiggle the door and probably drop a room service tray on the bathroom tiles if you don't want to accidentally walk in on somebody pounding away. . we could even show him how to flirt and tease the boys in his new dress."I looked round nervously at the girls, giggling excitedly at the thought of it all, and decided I'd have to return even though it meant I'd need to pluck up courage all over again. I arranged to return the following week and left as quickly as I could."We'll be waiting" they yelled as I closed the door.As the big day arrived, I was getting more and more apprehensive by the minute as I waited to set off for the bridal shop. I arrived there at 5pm just as the last customer was leaving. They locked the door behind me, put up the closed sign and shut the blind. The owner's name was Tessa and she introduced her two young assistants. Thankfully she asked them to tidy up the shop before taking my hand and leading me over to the first of many rails of dresses. "Let's see, this style is very popular this year" she said, pulling out a long, white, slim fitting dress, which looked disappointingly plain to my eyes.I.
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