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But he knew perfectly well that she would force herself to go through with whatever she had put in those envelopes, no matter how badly it hurt her. She was an exceptionally determined woman.She had a self-destructive streak and he had to ask himself if he was morally wrong to enable it. Possibly she as imposing worse penalties on herself and taking greater risks just because she knew that he was there to rescue her if she went too far. But there was a limit to what he could do if she got into some kinds of trouble. He did not want to be a witness if she permanently injured herself, or worse. Maybe if she had known that he was not going to be there, then she would have been more careful about what she wrote in the envelopes. But, now that he was here, he was trapped; if he refused to help at this point, she would do something dangerous anyway – she had tried playing solo before and almost died when a string accidentally stuck to the side of a wet jar. He had to stay with her and keep. While I have several licenses for the sake of conveniencein performing my duties here, I'm not an expert in those fields, and Ilack the business acumen to start my own company. I have no livingfamily, and I've already seen the world. I'm... well, I'm used to beingcounted on. Mr. Simmons relied on me, and that made me feel... not justuseful, but valuable. To be candid, I already have a couple of milliondollars in my retirement fund. Even while Mr. Simmons was alive, Ididn't need this job for the money anymore. It's just that I enjoy it.It makes me feel good to be needed, and I've always taken pride in myreputation for reliability and responsibility. Now, I suddenly feelpointless... like a ronin, if you're familiar with the term." I am. You and I are more alike than I realized, Mr. Wilson. Like you,I no longer have to work, and in that regard, I practically told MissParker what you just told me. Running things is what I do. I'm good atit, and I enjoy it. It's what gets me out of bed in.
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