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If we all knew how to use it, the world would be a very different place." It's strange that you mention the power thing. When I go to work, I have this feeling of power and confidence. And that brings on this incredible feeling... it is almost sexual in nature. Then, on the other hand, sometimes I feel submissive... like... like when we were together. When I'm with Tim I feel this rush of power again. He'll do anything I want." Jenny paused and looked up at the sky, still sniffling. Then she continued. "It's so confusing... am I dominant or submissive... have I become a slut... or am I just blossoming... who am I really?" Jenny, we all lead several lives. WE are the only ones that really, really know what goes on inside our own heads. I think everyone would be surprised if they learned the secret thoughts of their friends and families. As far as being submissive or dominant, the fact is I think most people are both dominant and submissive. You've heard stories about corporate. I reached up to adjust my top, hoping to show off maybe a bit more flesh.The pride I felt was like Novocain in my mind, freezing out anddistracting from that part of me that had been so upset a moment ago. Itwas still there, but it was like it wasn't in focus. I couldn't evenbegin to figure out how I was supposed to feel about what she had justdone. I felt like I'd been emotionally compromised, like I couldn't eventrust my own thoughts or feelings. How was I supposed to act? How was Isupposed to feel? I clenched my fist in frustration and sighed."Come on," I said, gripping Elizabeth's hand. "Let's just... let's getout of here." I silently added "before you try to fix anything else."I spent the whole rest of the day stewing. I was hurt, I think I knewthat much. Was this betrayal? Manipulation? I'd had one form of emotionalturmoil replaced by another one. I didn't know how to act, how to react.I just... I was angry. I wanted to smash something. It was anger frompain, sharp, keening,.
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