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I phoned the 1-888 number for the Vermont Pump Co. and a guy answered the phone."What can I do for you?" he asked."I would like to purchase the XT-5 and it's tubing and pump attachments." I said.So he asked for my particulars for address and credit card info. Then his voice got kind of quiet and he said "OK fella, you have to tell me what you're packing so we can get the tube built to your specifications."I stammered a bit and said, "My length is 8 and ½ and my girth is 7."He gasped and said "We'll have to build a larger tube for a guy like you. Hell, you probably have the potential to expand to 10 ½ by 8 ¾ inches for your first tube! That will be slightly more expensive, but you'll be the envy of all the guys around, as if you weren't already." Then he chuckled.I cleared my throat and said "Oh excuse me, I'm not 8 and ½ by 7 INCHES, I'm 8 and ½ by 7 CENTIMETERS. I thought it would be better to use the metric measurement since that is more precise."He cleared his throat nervously. "Oh. .", I groaned. "No buts! You knew the rules and broke them!". That night, after dinner, my mom brought me into her bedroom and made shut my eyes and go to sleep at seven pm, in her bed. ---The next morning, I panicked as I saw my mom standing over me. She angrily yelled at me as I suddenly realized my pants were full of sticky residue. I had a wet dream. She was downright furious. Apparently I had cummed on her favorite sheets. And there was no convincing her it was involuntary. "Why the hell should I believe it was a dream? How do I know you didn't just masturbate while I was asleep? Next to YOUR OWN MOM YOU FUCKING PERV! Why should I believe a thing you say you lying wanker?". As I sat frowning, mom barked out a new order. "let's try something different. Since you're such a perv and I never fuck in quarantine, how about I give you the sex I want and the release you need?". I stood up slack-jawed at my mom's suggestion that I have sex with her. "What, do you really think I'm going to.
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