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Unfortunately for me my own Mother was far from loving, in fact she wasn’t particularly interested in me at all. I longed for a mother’s love. In Sharon I had found what I wanted, the security of a loving mother. Sharon attended the same keep fit classes at the sports centre as I did. After a couple of sessions I started chatting to her. We got to exchanging banter during the class and after the session started going together for a coffee. One time, Sharon asked if I was interested in seeing the latest rom-com film with her. I was, and we went together. We were soon an item and my friends joked how Sharon was my Mum’s age. I just told them that we were just friends, but pretty soon Sharon was known as my chummy mummy. I had never heard the term before. Maybe it was unusual having a friend the same age as my Mum. However, I rather liked the idea. The age difference was a bonus for me anyway. What I didn’t tell my friends was that Sharon’s mother daughter relationship had also been an. "And I worried about you because I knew you wanted the same thing, andmight not be able to find it. I see you with young KC, attracted to herand her little baby, wanting to help and glad because there are so fewwho are willing and she's so grateful. And I feel awful because KC nolonger talks to me, and I know that you won't tell her about your desiresfor fear that she will no longer talk to you."He said nothing. He just stared at her impassively. Suddenly, she wasconvinced she'd lost him."But I can stop worrying. You'll purge, now, and you'll stop talking tome, and you'll never tell KC what's in your heart, and maybe that will bea good thing because she'll never have to deal with it. But it's a lie,Deanna. So, go live your lie, and satisfy your mother, and deny your ownself. But don't ever - EVER - accuse me of not caring. Because I thoughtof Deanna as my daughter, the only daughter I was ever going to have."The black cloud was descending yet again. She could feel it encroaching,sense.
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