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After dinner we sat in the living room and began the first of many long talks. We were trying to find out about each other's thoughts and feelings without being confrontational. It was a very difficult discussion to start, and even harder to stay calm while hearing things you expect to hear, but don't want to hear."Sue, where do I stand in your life now?" My question was I suppose, for my ego. I needed to hear her say I still counted in her life."John, I have always held you in the number one place in my heart and in my life. I know that what you have learned about me in the last days have been a shock to your system. Please remember that I have been forced, always forced to do these things. I will admit that when I am in the middle of it all I get lost in the feelings running through my body. The effects of the drugged tea are still haunting me I think." How long do you think that the feelings the tea has given you will last? Any ideas at all what I should expect? I still love you. I noticed one change in her, and that was that she made her weeping noise a little bit less loud. It was almost like she wanted to be quieter, so she could hear what Dad was saying to me. It must have been difficult, trying to hear through the receiver I was holding tightly to my ear. After I hung up, I talked to her about what Dad had said, and about how much work he was doing."I'm worried about Dad. At least, when he was home, we could make sure he stopped working long enough to get something to eat, and for him to get himself some rest before heading back to the office. I don't think he takes care of himself when he stays by himself up at the apartment. I think I'm going to drive over there tomorrow to see him, maybe get him to stop working long enough to take me to lunch or something. I think I'll go over to see Jane and Grace too, make sure they are both okay. I haven't seen the girls since Thanksgiving, and Jane was supposed to call me about this new driver she heard about..
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