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Camilla saw it first. Andy’s woody. She was impressed but at Seventy big cocks just meant a lot of pain, so she prefferred Charles.“He has a woody, do something,” Camilla hissed.“Don’t be fucking thick I’m not queer,” Charles replied.“Get Sarah,” Camilla hissed.Royal aides had bundled Sarah into the boot of the Range Rover just in case. And wisely so.“Release the hounds,” Charles ordered using the secret code word.Sarah was not amused, “I am not amused.” she said, “One minute I’m signing Budgie the Helicopter books in Poundland in Kensington High street and then I’m bundled into the boot of a Range Rover.”“Still flogging the books?” Charles chuckled, “Should use them for firewood.”“We are,” Andy said, “We have five bedrooms full of the damned things not that we are living together.”“Or having sex,” Sarah sighed.“Oh cut the crap, just sort him out will you, he can’t be on TV with a giant woody can he?” Charles ordered, “Cluster round look outwards so the Papper-fuckng-nazis can’t see. During dinner I got very serious and asked, “Bernadette, are you still a virgin?”Bernadette replied, “Yes I am! Why?”I said, “Well you’re getting older and maybe you should get on some kind of birth control pills or something.”Bernadette asked, “Is this our sex talk?”I answered, “I guess it should be!”Bernadette said, “I know everything already so you can save your breath!”I asked, “You know everything?”Bernadette said, “Yes! Ask me anything!”So I asked her where babies come from. She answered me but basically told me that it was from having sex, the boy’s sperm, the girl’s egg, and nine months later. Then she said that birth control only does about a ninety-nine percent job of preventing pregnancy. I was impressed.I asked her what sexually transmitted diseases were. She answered syphilis, herpes, and AIDS. Then she said that condoms help with that but that nothing is fool proof. She said the best way was not to have sex at all. Then she laughed and said that doesn’t work either. She.
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