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I couldn't stand it and escaped as only a true TV can - I ran into the bedroom and got dressed.At least I tried to. I couldn't help myself; I had to see what those little tags on the clothes said. My bra warned me to wash in cold water and hand dry. My girdle warned me that prolonged squeezing of my abdomen could lead to faintness, intestinal problems and funny marks on my skin. My pantyhose could cause strangled calves if worn too long. Boy was I glad to know that, how could I ever thank our government for looking out for my safety.I began to relax while reading the latest Vain Giant Woman's Clothing catalog, and as you might expect I pickled up the phone (Warning: do not use this instrument when lightning is present or when in the bathtub) and called in an order. The woman was very nice until I ordered a new girdle.There was a pause and then she said: "Sir, new government safety regulations require me to ask you if you are a crossdresser. Recent studies have shown that no woman in. " Maybe you should." I..." Her eyes found his and for a second, her heart fluttered. "Oh, all right, it won't hurt to try them on."He gently removed her right shoe, placing her stockinged foot on the angled stool, his hands soft and warm on her ankle and foot. He placed the sizer under her foot and made the measurements."Size five," he smiled. "Delicately small." Well, I am only..." Let me guess. Five-three." And a half," she added, noting the iridescent quality of his irises, how the light seemed to make the color swirl when he smiled."I'll go get this in a five and return shortly."She watched him disappear into the back, chiding herself for her momentary infatuation."That was quick," she commented as he returned taking the new shoes from the box."I wouldn't want to keep a lady waiting. Especially one so attractive." How old are you?" she laughed."Twenty-six." Well, I'm forty-seven and old enough to..." Old enough to know when a compliment is an empty one and when a man really means.
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