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And all the statements have been given, everything's almost done, all wrapped up nice and neat. But what about me? What happens to me? What, my mom gives a shit now? And just 'cause she's my mom I'm supposed to forgive her?But things are better. I feel better. I guess. I don't have all this stuff bottled inside me. It's all out, and I'm still alive. And that means things have a chance of getting better, right? But all I really want is Carly. She's the only thing I want. I can deal with everything else, it's hard, but I can do it. It's Carly, just like it's always been Carly. She held my hand when I talked to police. She hugged me, she stroked my hair, she was a mother to me when I fell apart, when it hit me what had happened.No, not a mother, a best friend.Even though I did... what I did to her, even though she admitted she didn't know how to feel, she still stayed by my side. And then, when I was better, well, what can be called better, she moved away. Emotionally. Physically. And it. As soon as I had read that story, I realised that I was a voyeur too. I started to devour stories on that theme in greater and greater quantities and as I masturbated to them, my dreams of sharing my own wife growing in earnest.The more I imagined Mary naked and in bed with other men, the more I realised that it wasn’t just a fantasy anymore; I really wanted it to happen.The next real step on that road came when later in my thirties when I almost succeeded in sharing her with a friend.But then I was stupid and blew it.We were staying at a beach house with a group of friends as we did often back then. It was warm and sunny; few clothes were being worn and, with the help of a few beers, a great deal of light-hearted joking and flirting was going on.I was pleased to see that Mary in particular was relaxed and happy. Bright, cheerful, slightly tipsy and at her most attractive, she was flirting happily with one of our male friends who was responding in kind. Doing much the same myself, it.
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